Saint Basil Books is an Orthodox Christian ministry, so it should perhaps be said that my mother was not an Orthodox Christian, but I wish to honor her here on this blog because because the scriptures say, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12). And I wouldn’t hesitate to honor her by a remark in a sermon for example. She was an wonderful mother, the kind who loved to give little moments of joy, such as wrapping me in a hot towel fresh out of the dryer. I will always remember her love as being an expression of God’s own love.
Was my mother saved? As Orthodox we don’t believe that is our determination to make, either for ourselves or for the non-Orthodox. All will stand before Christ. Christ knows which individuals are his sheep. In Orthodoxy we don’t say, “Are you saved?” “Yes, I’m saved!” I can say, “I’m saved, being saved, and believe I will be saved.” But my continued task on earth is to “endure to the end” (Matthew 24:13), without ever denying Christ or any part of the faith, including the truth of the “One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church” as it says in the Apostles Creed. And neither should I take away from or add to the faith; rather, as Saint Paul says, “Let each take care how he builds” (1 Cor 3:10). But I know that neither am I saved by what I know, however much it may help me in this life, but by God’s grace. And God is very, very gracious beyond what we dare to hope! So I pray Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me and on my mom.
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There are some people who leave a legacy because they do great things and there are others who leave a legacy because they do small things in a great way. My mother was the kind who did small things in a great way, with love and careful attention and skill.
Aunt Rachel remembers that she made her own beautiful wedding dress with her mom’s help. Aunt Elaine remembers that she sewed beautiful outfits for Christine and Andrea when they were little girls.
Aunt Lois remembers sitting on the piano bench next to Ruth on Sunday evenings after church as she played hymns and everyone sang in harmony. And she remembers her playing bumble boogie with her left hand and Chopin with her right hand!
I remember the way she would put the salad on the table first like they do at a restaurant, so that we would eat it without going straight for the main dish. This meant that someone had to get up after we all sat down to bring out the main dish. And my mom would just do that to ensure that we ate healthy salads.
As Aunt Elaine said to me, Ruth was always doing for others, with love and generosity.
(But I never saw her getting beers for my dad. He got those himself. She had her limits.)
I also remember the wonderful way she would care for me when I was sick. She would bring me healthy treats to cheer me up so that I kind of liked being sick.
And all the food she made was both delicious and healthy and also displayed nicely.
And there was of course the way she played the piano, which was skillful and expressive, but also tasteful. She didn’t like it when people banged on the piano or when they strained their voices when they sang. Her playing, like everything she did seemed effortless and modest.
And something else I noticed is that she would work hard on weeding the gardens around the house and scrubbing floors, making the house attractive and she seemed to enjoy the struggle, getting on her knees, and it didn’t really matter if anyone saw. We didn’t have any close neighbors and we didn’t have many visitors over the years. If we did have someone visit for Thanksgiving dinner it was because my mom knew that they would otherwise be home alone. My mom seemed to just enjoy the struggle for its own sake.
We hear the expression, “They don’t make them like that anymore.” Tom Brokaw wrote the book, The Greatest Generation. That was the generation that fought WWII. Then my parents were born during WWII, so they are the second greatest generation. Then you have The Boomers. Why do they call them that? Is it because they like to literally beat their drums for this or that idea? They say that they “built this city on rock and roll.” My mom would say, “Oh pff, ridiculous.” And then you have Generation X and they’re pretty cool I guess, to quote the movie Napoleon Dynamite. And by the time you get the Millennials, well, they’re the biggest waste of human flesh the world has ever seen! (No offense to Millennials. I’m speaking tongue in cheek.)
The generations since the 1950s are like the evolution chart in reverse. You start with the greatest generation who were fully erect humans. And then the next generation is slightly stooped. And then the next generation are neanderthals. And then gorillas. And then orangutans I suppose. I was born in 1980 so I’m right between gorilla and orangutan!
Then there are the kids who are kids now. What will their generation be like? Even if there is no hope for Millennials, there’s still hope for them. Will they have to fight a war overseas in order to be great? I hear that Mike Pence now says we should have boots on the ground in Ukraine. God forbid that should happen.
My mom really loved my kids. She had to wait a long time for grandkids. I just wish that she could have been around longer to watch them grow up.
Isaiah 40:6-8 in the Septuagint version says:
“All flesh is grass,
And all man’s glory is like the flower of the field.
The grass withers,
The flower fades, but the word of our God abides forever.
The first time we see this phrase “The word of the Lord” in the Bible is when God talks to Abraham, “the father of all who believe.” It says, “The word of the Lord came to Abraham.”
My mother has this in common with Abraham, she left the city. I don’t mean that my parents lived off grid and grew all their own food. Although that can be a nice lifestyle. But she did leave her teaching job in the public schools. And she left Portland, Oregon, following my dad to a town with just one stoplight in Idaho.
And she trusted God to give her the wisdom to guide her own kids. And I’m most thankful for all of her efforts to educate and inspire me. She would read to us for hours on end. And she took me to hear interesting speakers.
Most of the speakers my mother would take me to hear were part of the “religious right.” So, even though she was not politically outspoken herself, she introduced me to a world that was organizing against the encroaching socialist and globalist agenda.
Why was she not politically outspoken? It’s not because she didn’t have strong political views, especially on social issues. But she didn’t seek an audience, except with her own kids and her small circle of friends. She never got on social media. And the whole meme shaming culture that we have now—that was not how she rolled. Again, she was someone who left the city. I think she was content to contemplate beauty and wisdom for its own sake.
The author of Hebrews says about Abraham, “For he looked for a city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God.”
It doesn’t say that he found it. But he looked for it.
I would say that my mom was also looking for a different city. But the journey was long. I pray to God that she found it. And I pray that He has mercy on both her and me.
